We fly in a world without a God.
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stop with the fear of being judged. 

and that’s my to-do list for today.

100 happy days 


so I entered this kind of challenge where you have to post a picture each day, for 100 days, showing a different reason to be happy about. this, today, is my first entry.

I was thinking, well, I didn’t have a particularly special day today - I woke up really late, then went off to uni and had a crappy class about a subject that isn’t interesting to me at all and I could go on and on… but that’s not supposed to be like that, right?

so I’d thought about the thing (something, anything) that made me cheerful in the last 12 hours or so and, well, I know what it is: it’s this star won’t go out. if you don’t know what that is, it’s a book with letters and blog entries from Esther Earl and her parents and friends during the 4 years she lived after being diagnosed with cancer. at this point I’m just thinking like “omg, is my first entry in this happy challenge thing going to be about a 16 year old dead girl who had cancer?” not. really. cheerful. isn’t it?

but then… it is. i mean, it’s really sad and moving getting to know the ups and downs in a life of a girl with such a terrible disease. and it does make you question if things could ever be fair, specially if you imagine yourself in the skin of her parents. but at the same time, it’s just astonishing to read Esther words and try and understand her thoughts. in the end it’s just like… she wasn’t just a girl with cancer; she was a girl and cancer was part of her life, so she just had to figure it all out. you know, she was always just a normal teenager, she wasn’t some sort of hero. but because you wouldn’t expect such a loving and caring attitude from a sick girl towards the world, she really seems to be special in her own way.

anyway, there’s something in this book that makes me really cheerful and happy, just feeling like life has meaning when you are grateful and you give your love to people, so they can give a little bit of their love right back to you. Esther believed in God, and I’m not sure I do (but the fact that I’m not sure just makes me feel that, ok, I really don’t believe in God), but I do believe, just like her, that there’s always something to be grateful for.

so, yeah, my reason to be happy today is this star won’t go out and the fact that it reminded me of the most important things in life: be grateful, be caring to other people, love your family and friends, be a nerd yourself :D (and, also, never stop using smiley faces - yeah, I totally get you, Esther)


"If one person sits down at their computer one day and types one word, does that affect the future? (…) Does their one word even mean anything? Does my one (times a lot) word mean anything?"

Esther, at Crazycrayon Blog, 2009.

(also, I’m pretty happy you found a new place to live :D i bet it’s going to be great - and this time, everybody will take at least one real shower per day - you know, with hot water and stuff ;) haha)

"This pain
It is a glacier moving through you
And carving out deep valleys
And creating spectacular landscapes
And nourishing the ground”

Glacier, by John Grant

"If there is a God, He will have to beg my forgiveness." —- A phrase that was carved on the walls of a concentration camp cell during WWII by a Jewish prisoner.  (via ieula)

I feel like I should share this with the world. I’d just read The Fault in Our Stars, and now I’m getting to know this really beautiful story… it amazes me.